I have worked with many clients in counselling and students in school who have struggled with anxiety and the effects it can have on our day to day life. But it was only when anxiety came knocking on my door in 2019 that I no longer just empathised with those who had experienced anxiety but now had a personal understanding of just how debilitating anxiety can be and that for me changed everything with how I see and work with it.
So what is anxiety?
Anxiety is our body’s natural response to stress, giving a feeling of fear, worry and unease which we all can sometimes experience for example when going for a job interview, taking an exam, waiting on an important phone call or going into a new environments etc. However sometimes we can experience anxiety beyond these common circumstances where it becomes intense, more frequent and eventually causing a disruption to our normal everyday lives.
Anxiety can present in many ways with the most common being:
- Heart racing
- Being unusually obsessive and controlling
- Uncontrollable trembling/shaking
- Feeling faint and dizzy
- Hot flushes and sweating
- Avoidance
- Out of control breathing
- Nausea
- Hair loss
- Restlessness
- Loss of appetite or changes to eating pattern
- Difficulty unwinding and sleeping
- Being unable to control our thoughts
It’s important to also note that not everybody who has anxiety will experience it in the same way. There are all kinds of variations of symptoms and differing intensities that individuals may come across making no two experiences the same. But if there is one thing I have learned about anxiety it’s that if left untreated or without support systems in place to help manage, it can very quickly snowball out of our control and something that started out as a minor uneasy feeling becomes something that interrupts our lives in the most inconvenient of ways.
What can I do to help manage anxiety?
- Self-awareness
Firstly take a moment to reflect and be honest with yourself, think about your experiences with anxiety in the last two weeks and take note of if and how it has impacted you and your normal everyday life.
- Eliminate triggers
I realised for me during a time when I was really struggling to manage anxiety that tv, music and anything loud in particular was really triggering for me, I needed silence in order to feel calm. In moments where silence wasn’t possible for example at work I would play calming instrumentals, nature sounds or bible scriptures being read softly behind music that would help induce a sense of peace in my surroundings.
Analyse your day and figure out if there is anything in particular that triggers anxiety in you and see what is within your power to change and either decrease it or eliminate it.
- Support network of family and friends
I pulled on my support network and agreed an action plan with a friend who I could call on anytime if I had a day where I was really struggling to function or having an anxiety attack. We had pre planned steps to follow like breathing exercises and grounding techniques such as 54321 methods which would help distract me from what I was experiencing and focus on the reality of what is happening around me.
Grounding technique 54321 method:
Name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste
- Contact GP
Speaking to your doctor or health care professional can be really helpful in exploring new ways to help manage anxiety and also keep a regular check on things to ensure you have the support from a professional and when for example intervention needs to be increased or reduced.
- Counselling
As you are probably aware I am an advocate for counselling and believe everyone should have a safe space they can turn to, to help identify triggers and process those difficult feelings and emotions. Counselling can really help to give voice to those anxious thoughts and process them with somebody without any form of judgement.
- Exercise
Doing something physical is great when trying to manage anxiety as it helps to get your mind focused on what you are physically doing rather than what you are thinking.
Swimming for me followed by a dip in the Jacuzzi and deep breaths in an olbas oil infused steam room worked wonders in helping me take my mind off things and exchange anxiety for peace and relaxation!
- Journal
Whatever is swirling around in your head giving you anxiety get it out on paper, write, type, voice memo however you do it just get it out your head and onto somewhere! Anxiety can sometimes feel like a huge build-up of thoughts with nowhere to go, it’s important we give those raw thoughts an unedited escape so they do not take over our minds.
- Space
Sometimes we need a break from reality and our responsibilities. In times where I was particularly struggling with anxiety and just wanted to be left alone, I would book into a hotel in a different city and just escape, go exploring, go shopping and just detach from reality. This is how I discovered my love for solo trips! But this also allows you time to center yourself and get refocused away from the expectations and opinions of others.
- Candles
Lighting candles infused with essential oils such as lavender, chamomile, rosemary and lemongrass helps us to de-stress by engaging our sense of smell and infusing our environment with calming oils that helps to ease anxieties.
- Prayer and meditation
My go to in everything! I would intentionally take time and find things to be thankful for and meditate on “whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable and praise worthy” in my life and this would help to refocus my mind, ease my anxieties and worries and bring peace.
So if you do find yourself in a moment where it feels like you are at war with anxiety don’t give up the fight. I want you to think of each strategy and suggestion as a new weapon in this battle. If you find after sometime one isn’t working try something else or combine your different weapons together until you find what works for you and you no longer feel like you are fighting anymore.
It’s not easy but it’s possible, that I now know!
If you haven’t already, check out Restoration Talks: Anxiety where I share a little bit more of my journey with anxiety with some expert tips with Dr Amanda.
If you are interested in one to one counselling with me please head over to my counselling page:
Chaz’ara Melody x
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